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Arguments
In these Biblical passages, Moses argued with God and God relented! Can you
imagine that? God told Moses that He will strike down the Israelites who
demanded Aaron to create a god for them. Moses implored to spare His people.
Moses reasoned why God should spare His people whom He brought out from Egypt.
And God relented!
Don’t You Dare!
Reading these passages now made me realize how faulty the saying, "Don’t you dare argue with your father (or mother)!" You
probably heard this before: "The older I get the more I feel that if I am not given a chance to get my point across, why even bother to speak?"
Don’t you think our children are any different? If they cannot get their point across, why even bother speaking to us? In fact when my kids were growing up,
"You don’t even know!" was quite a common ending to a conversation. And that was the end of it.
We have been trained by our parents not to argue with them for any reason. Whatever you feel you bury deep inside you. And we know how that feels and how some of those feelings turned out.
But that's just how we were raised. Our parents did not know
any other way. In fact, in some places the Bible was probably not allowed to be
read by anyone else except clergy.
In
the first five books of the Old Testament Moses argued with God in several occasions and God relented. Whether
or not God would have destroyed the Israelites without Moses’ pleading is neither knowable to humans nor is that relevant. The fact remains that God showed mercy in situations where man would have given up. God shows that respectful arguments, pleading or prayer work! Did God lose authority by relenting? Did man lose respect or love for God?
Respect versus fear
It is easy to confuse giving in as a sign of weakness or to confuse fear for respect. In our world giving in is taken a sign of losing to something – an argument, a bet or your space in front of that big bully of a truck that tried to run you out of the freeway.
We feel that those we work for have the ultimate authority over our work. Since unfortunately for a lot of us work dictates our life, work
IS our life, and by extension, those we work for have authority over our lives. It’s easier said than done but wouldn’t it simplify our choices if we decide once and for all who has ultimate authority over our lives? There are those who believe that intimidation is the best way to win over people. Does that work for you? Do you think it works for Junior?
For better or for worse, we were trained to do just that and more. In fact up to the point that
"Do you dare argue with your dad!" is almost a mantra heard by our children. But if Moses could argue with God why could not a child argue with you? Sure. But there are rules.
The rules
This is one part I wish I did not have to write since it makes me feel I have the wisdom I definitely do not have. My children can attest
to the fact that I did not like arguments, especially from them. I just wish I had this Biblical insight then. I imagine my son’s writing would have developed sooner. And my daughter’s art flourished earlier. But here
it goes.
Respect
When Moses argued with God he argued with respect. He implored. He begged. He reasoned. It is very easy to lose our cool especially if the child can present a good argument. And believe me they can. Respect goes a long way
for us and for our children. Kids must be given a chance to express their opinions with respect and parents cannot lose their cool.
Make a decision
Arguments can’t go on indefinitely.
Where Moses took God to task, it was God who ended the argument not Moses. And no matter how the argument goes the parent must make a final decision one way or the other. It does not help the child to find that the reason why we detest arguments is that we cannot make or
are at least afraid to make a decision UNDER pressure.
And if you are into the "self esteem" thing, can you imagine what relenting to a respectful and reasoned argument can do to your child's life?
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