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Building Character
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Do you ever wonder what’s
behind one’s actions? How do you judge one’s character? What shapes character?
What is behind building character? |
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One Man’s Story
There was a man who was totally despised by those whom he came in contact.
Everywhere he went he was reviled but he had a job to do. What did he do to
deserve this? He was a tax collector. His name was Levi. Jesus called Levi to
follow Him and he did. He is later known in the bible as Matthew. He also wrote
the first of the four Gospels in the New Testament.
Even without
the last 4 sentences in the last paragraph I am sure a lot of us would have
said, “Well deserved hatred!” A little more reading revealed this was a great
story of repentance.
Prejudices
We are born with certain prejudices. We tend to like certain smells, textures,
colors. We prefer certain foods, drinks and music. These predispositions are in
fact essential to our survival. We grow up and retain if not strengthen certain
prejudices. Some of the motivations are external: peer pressure, political
correctness, uniqueness. We are born with predispositions. But character and
values are learned.
When a child
misbehaves we try to “avoid hurting his or her feelings” and thus miss a great
opportunity towards building character. Political correctness mandates that our
behavior does not form our character. That would be “judgmental.” |
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But we
have to do more that just massage bruised and demanding
egos. |
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Continued below... |
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My Prayer Box
Newsletter |
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My Prayer Box newsletter is published weekly and contains the
readings for that Sunday. It has reflections, stories and
reader contributions, prayers and news relevant to living a
proud Catholic life.
The reader contributions include announcements, interesting
articles, pictures and greetings. We also solicit news
regarding activities and events your parishes that you might
useful for others.
The newsletter has over 1000 subscribers.
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According
Dr. Thomas Lickona, in
www.catholiceducation.org, |
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"The purpose of the Church and of Catholic
education is to turn us into little Christs,
to continue the process of our transformation
in Christ that began in our baptism."
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In
his article, Dr. Lickona sites that building
character includes: |
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"…the four "cardinal virtues" advanced by the
ancient Greeks: prudence (which enables us to
judge what we ought to do), justice (which
enables us to give other persons their due),
fortitude (which enables us to do what is
right in the face of difficulties), and
temperance (which enables us to control our
desires and avoid abuse of even legitimate
pleasures)…"
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Dr. Thomas Lickona is a developmental
psychologist and Professor of Education at the
State University of New York at Cortland. |
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Skill sets to learn
Building a good Catholic character is not an
accident but rather a continuous instruction and
re-education that starts early in life. A great
part of this is recognizing that there are
skills that we need to learn and teach. These
are skills sets that most commonly attributed to
developing good character.
The first is Good Citizenship. This means being
respectful to every one and following the rules
of moral, good and lawful conduct. This also
means being conscious, aware and involved in our
community and the environment.
Godliness, patience, honesty, compassion,
generosity and ability to forgive, are skills
that define our moral outlook.
In addition, although not as much emphasized as
it should be, gratitude is probably just as
important.
How to develop them
We have the innate ability to judge one’s action
as either good or bad. However, whenever the
opportunity arises we should always strengthen
awareness of our moral obligations and the
significance of the choices we make.
Lead by example
While visiting a friend when I was in college, I
saw a poster hanging on the wall titled, “Children
Learn What They Live” written by
Dorothy Law Nolte. It begins: |
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"If children live with criticism, they learn
to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight..."
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These words then and now reverberate in me.
Children will follow what they will see. If we
expect to have them, “Do as I say, not as I do,”
we will be in for a surprise. Everything we say
and do can either strengthen or undermine our
credibility.
Be consistent
It will not help at all if our children see us
indecisive all the time. They will pick up that
trait and consider that as something normal and
expected.
Be firm and compassionate
Be compassionate just as we want our children to
be. Firmness does not mean standing our ground
all the time. It means knowing what we stand for
passionately before we are called to defend it.
It also means judging each event as capably as
possible and then developing practical and
doable options for everyone.
Be creative
Knowing the pitfalls of our daily scheduling we
may find that specific teaching moments may be
rare. However, having dinner together is a great
and intimate teaching moment. Construct
conversations around a skill you feel needs
reinforcing. Another example would be when
gathering around a TV set, a game, or being in
the play yard.
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A Rare Find |
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Those around us look up to us
and begin build their lives through what we do. Thoughts animate the
heart. Good thoughts acted out build character. Evil thoughts acted out destroy.
Since often
what we do is dictated by how we feel, remember to put on a smile. One who has
great prejudices or is in great distress but goes to great lengths to outwardly
show otherwise is not a fake, just rare. |
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Apologetics |
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Mary
and the Saints |
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Mass
and the Eucharist |
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Prayers |
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Novenas |
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The Rosary |
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Traditional Prayers:
Discover the origin of your favorite prayer. We might
even have the original Latin version, too. |
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Novenas:
Learn how
to say a novena in honor of your favorite
Saint. |
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Archived Articles |
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Prayer Requests |
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Tours and Pilgrimages |
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