Tools for Life

If all you have is a hammer you'll treat every problem as a nail. - Anonymous

There’s an old saying that goes like this: "If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got." Looking beyond its grammatical contortions, it drives home a point – doing the same things over and over is an exercise in futility. Or is it?

I work with a gentleman who claimed that he and his daughter would sneak out to eat in their one favorite place without his wife. His reason? He knows that if his wife learns of this place she would insist on going to that place over and over until they get sick of it. Beyond selfishness and lack of communication, his point is that he enjoys the novelty of things.

We’ve all done this. We seek new places for the fun of it but we always let our hair down in the old familiar places. We’ve read and re-read books that we love, we feel especially at home at your favorite place. We sleep on the same side of the bed. In fact, if we wake up grouchy in the morning we blame that on waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

There is comfort in seeing and being with things familiar. We expect things to be in the same places when we come home. An episode of the comedy series "Friends" dealt with this – and the consequences, or the paranoia inferred, when we are so obsessed. Who can forget his fear when, in his desire to help out in their home by cleaning, Chandler moved things around but could not remember where certain things went? And who can forget Joey’s horror when, by memory, he sat down on the couch, placed his foot on the center table and missed because it was a couple of inches too far? (I know. I know. That show became raunchy quite a lot. But remember I hold the remote control.)

It almost seems like we have two personalities, really. One nurtures and seeks the joy in discovery, sweet innocence in finding for the first time, say, a rolly polly under a stone. We seek surprises, controlled fear (as in roller coaster rides). Primal feelings that pushes us to look for different things, and things just to be different. We seek excitement. On the other hand we fear the unknown. We have fear of being different, which was borne out of our innate need for self-preservation. We become concerned with what’s around the corner or the look on unfamiliar faces.

We have two personalities that must coexist. One without the other will either drive us to risky adventures without regard for the outcome. the other will leave us at the brink of, if not be engulfed in, paranoia, unable to move forward and afraid of failure. A good balance inspires discovery with caution, and excitement with restraint. These are our tools for life.

Life is a series of do-overs. We do things over and over for a reason. Perhaps this is God’s way to tell us that although life does not have a rewind button, you will always have a chance to mend things, correct errors and rise from a fall. If what we do seems to be an exercise in futility, perhaps God is giving us a chance to do it better next time. And perhaps discover new things along the way.

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